ghost 8/25/2013

I wandered alone

in the dusk

moments

bleeding into days

never feeling solid

in this world

letting emotions

all fade away

a wanderer

with no purpose

no element of life

to animate

I thought I’d come to life

to walk and see the sights

to smell the cherry trees in bloom

to sit here by your side

but the moment overwhelms me

again

I’m choking back tears

I know that time is fleeting

and soon I’ll cease to care

cease to breathe

cease to feel your warmth

so beautiful it hurts

and I retreat

back into the cold

so that I don’t experience

the pain

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Optimism

the ability to see

the unity

of all of the elements

within our lives

and move

physically and spiritually

forward

transmutation

a cycle perpetuating itself

throughout our existence

live in the moment

for in each action

each word

we create our world


Love (2010)

Everything burned down to ashes

the detritus of the chaos

carried me

in the eddie’s of turmoil’s wake

Disintegrated

scattered

trembling

collecting all the pieces of my past

that I could snatch from the wind

I faced my future

my direction obscured

falling down

I had to face my fears

to love is to fear

and love is the only thing

I’ve ever feared

It takes my breath away

I’m still choking

on the ashes

that surround me

sometimes

I can’t see through my debris

something in the distance

keeps calling me

I keep moving

facing my fears

to love is to fear

and love

is the only thing

I’ve ever feared


fail (2008)

asleep in the arms of defeat again

I can no longer rest here

I can’t stand to pretend

I thought I’d discovered certainty

so sure of who I’d become

I was so wrong in the end

but I can be sure

that wishes and dreams

as hard as it seems

are illusory

fleeting

they’ll drown you

Pulled under by circumstances

leave me alone

I’ll take my chances

alone in this world

in turmoil I’m burning

unrestrained

I’m cursing your name

I cut the ties

binding me to your lies

burned those bridges

down to ashes

released on the wind

and I won’t have to see you

I won’t have to feel you

I can make my own way

if I’m destined to fail

at least I’ll know

I pulled myself down


Anti-Motion (12/19/2009)

bleak poets writhe

in apocalyptic frenzies

amidst the decay

we seek oblivion

mutual masochism

bereft our senses

numbed

by the coming onslaught

of tomorrow

concealed

in circumspect realities

perfecting

the art

of disappearing

into the grey skies

we speak

and are silenced

losing hope

free of emotion

continuing forward

despite the crushing dread

of mediocrity

spirits suppressed

instead of broken

the riddles

in which we cloak ourselves

apparent

bleeding into

a conundrum

for another day

dreams

overpower

the illogical truths

that veil existence

awakened

alive

we transcend the depths of fear

and are thus unbound


It’s Been Awhile

It’s been way too long since I posted here. My life has been a whirlwind. First for such positive beautiful things. I took the time to immerse myself in my new lifestyle. A lot of things have changed. And I have been writing the whole time, it just hasn’t made it on here yet. But it will, slowly but surely over the next few weeks. I do a lot in a day, work, kids, thinking and organizing. But I miss this little space. Since I started here, many months ago, my confidence in my writing, and my body of work has increased exponentially from what it was. I feel like I am more able to express than I used to be. I’m liking the results, and I do believe that I will continue to throw my randomness around here. I don’t really get to do it anywhere else and it’s gotta go somewhere other than my head and my notebook. It’s probably going to be more poetry again for awhile, but after I’m caught up with that, I think I’m going to get back to essays and article writing more than I have for the past few years. I love to write essays and articles, and I don’t think it’s a waste of time because it helps me to reframe my thinking, and refresh my stance via other’s opinions. I miss the discourse of essay writing. I’ve decided that there are a lot of things in my life that get short changed. Writing is one of the few things I keep coming back to, just because I love it. I can do it anytime and anywhere, whenever the need and the mood strikes. I’m ready to challenge myself, try all the genres I haven’t tried yet. See what sticks.


Staring Into the Fire

I am set ablaze

by what I though was beautiful

enigmatic mysteries

draw me in too far

to ever return

I enter an abyss

of emptiness and solitude

my own desire betrays me

I know that

things can’t stay this way

forever

My dreams can paralyze me

disguising the reality

and all the bitter things

and all the things

I thought I knew

I creep closer to the warmth

the flicker in your eyes

staring into to the flame again

drawn back into the lies

You could lead me on an endless chase

make me pay for my mistakes

I”ll be put back in my place

staring into the fire

staring into the fire

staring into the fire

so you can burn me one last time

I have been warned

and I have heard it said

that playing with fire

always burns

I simply can’t

resist the lure

My desire betrays me

and I know

my dreams

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